Feb 1

Do You Have the Ability to See Past Your Fears?

Comments: 2 Posted by : Paul Piotrowski

Whenever I feel that my progress in an area of my life has stagnated, I have almost always found that the root cause of it is some type of hidden fear that I am not seeing. Hidden fears are difficult to overcome by yourself because you’re looking at your life from inside your mind which only sees things that are filtered by that very same fear.

It’s almost like being born wearing red tinted glasses and walking into a room and not being able to see anything blue or green. The glasses you’re wearing are hiding anything blue or green from you, but you don’t even know you’re wearing red tinted glasses. To you, it just seems like everything is tinted red, and it has always been tinted red.

Your mind functions in a very similar fashion. It has these “fear filters” that block you from becoming aware of anything that is filtered out. Opportunities might show up in your life, but they are filtered out. People might show up, but they are filtered out. Events might appear but they are filtered out. The tricky thing is that you can’t see what you can’t see.

Have you ever had an email someone sent you get filtered out by a SPAM filter? Just yesterday I spoke to a good friend of mine who I lost touch with for a while and he told me that he sent me an email about two weeks ago. I never got it. Either my SPAM filter deleted it, or it just disappeared into never-never land.

Well, the thing is that until he told me he sent me an email I wasn’t even aware that he sent it to me, so I didn’t even know it was filtered out. As far as I was concerned, the email was never sent, until he told me about it.

What if, right now, you’re being presented with opportunities, chance meetings, events or learning lessons that will help you become an Inspired Money Maker and make money doing what you love, but your “mind’s SPAM fear filter” is filtering them out without you even knowing it?

This is exactly why one of the most recommended personal development resources I advocate nowadays is working with a coach or mentor. It doesn’t even really need to be a formal coaching / mentoring relationship. It just has to be someone besides yourself, who has your best interests at heart, who might be able to see past your fear filters.

Working with a coach or mentor is kind of like having a barber or a hair stylist. Yes, you can cut your hair yourself, but it’s just a lot easier for someone outside of yourself to cut your hair because they can see what your hair looks like from all angles without having to use mirrors and they can probably do a much better job cutting it. There are a lot of things in life that a person can do by themselves, and for 13 years I spent a lot of time working on personal development like that, reading books, listening to audio programs etc. Last year though, I started to work with several coaches and it became really apparent to me that coaches and mentors provide a lot of value.

If you don’t currently work with a coach or mentor, why not open yourself up to the concept? I know I used to have some excuses that held me back like “Coaches/mentors are expensive, it’s better to just buy a book.” Or “What could this person know about my life that I already don’t know?” etc. However, I later discovered that those were just fears holding me back from eliminating other fears, so at the beginning of last year I did start to work with a coach for the first time in my life and my life began to transform.

I’d like you to just think about this for a minute. What is it, inside me alone, that’s holding me back from achieving my dream of making money doing what I love? If you can’t see what’s holding you back, or you think you know what it is but you can’t overcome it, this may be an area in your life that coaching / mentoring might help with.

You don’t have to run out and get a coach / mentor today, but just open yourself up to that possibility and start seeing what kind of signals the universe sends you. You may meet someone who is a coach, or a friend might tell you about a mentor he’s working with, or some kind of resource, event or chance meeting related to coaching / mentoring might appear in your life.

Begin to take notice, because the thing that may be slowing you down in life may simply be the fact that you can’t currently see past your own fears.

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  1. TamsinNo Gravatar said on May 23rd, 2008 at 11:13 am

    Hi Paul

    I’ve just stumbled on your blog and really enjoyed reading through some of your posts. In this one on coaching, which is my area, you give one of the best descriptions I’ve heard re: hiring a coach when you say we can cut our own hair, but it’s much better if someone else does it for us. That’s often a key barrier to coaching, the idea that people feel they can coach themselves - which of course up to a point they can, but it’s that independent sounding board and challenging their fears that’s missing in that scenario.

    I also loved your list on 101 tips to make money doing what youlove. I recently did my own brief research into the extent to which it’s really possible to work at what you love and get paid for doing it. The majority of responses were yes, it is possible, and yet when I coach, people find it very difficult to break out of the money trap and patterns of needing security. I’m really interested in hearing about any other larger, scale research projects on this very topic - do you know of any Paul?

    Anyway, I’m about to digg that article, and add you to my favourite blog feed - so many thanks and looki forward to reading more of your stuff.

  2. Paul PiotrowskiNo Gravatar said on May 23rd, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    @Tamsin: Hi Tamsin, and welcome to my little corner of the Internet. I don’t know of any research projects that have been conducted in this area, but I don’t think it really matters as to me it is becoming abundantly clear with every day that passes that people are tired of the traditional “job” and they want to make money doing what they love.

    Everyone so far has been focused on making people efficient and effective, but nobody has been really looking at helping people find their true purpose. It’s kind of like putting Michael Jordan in football pads and trying to make him a more efficient football player. It’s just not going to work when the guy was meant to play Basketball.

    We need to go beyond the qualification of “Can you do this?” when putting people in certain roles, and into “Would you love to do this?” There are too many people out there making a living, doing something that they CAN do but they don’t enjoy doing it.

    Hopefully, I can help a little with my Blog. :)

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