The Dark Night
No I’m not going to write about the new Batman movie. What I am going to write about is a period of time in your life which you transition from one level of awareness to the next. For any person making the transition from working for a living to making money doing what they love, this is most likely going to be a period of time they experience.
Steve Pavlina wrote about this phase in his life back in March of 2005 when his personal development Blog was still in it’s infancy stage, well before it grew to the success it has become today. I am currently totally in that period of time in my life as well. I have truly found my passion and purpose in this Blog, helping people along on this path of becoming Inspired Money Makers, and I get so much fulfillment by writing these articles.
For a few months now I’ve been exchanging emails with one of my regular readers (Ace Andres). Ace is presently going through the exact same phase in his life, leaving behind the “security” of the job world to pursue his passion of making music. I’ve done everything I can to offer him advice and support via email to help him along the path of becoming an Inspired Money Maker without expecting anything in return. A few days ago, Ace sent me a sneak peak preview of one of his songs for his new album and it was difficult for me to keep my eyes from tearing up because I loved the song so much. I could totally tell that Ace completely poured his heart out into this project and I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that his new album will be a success. In fact I already told him that once he finishes it, I will help him promote it because I think everyone in the world needs to listen to this music. I have probably listened to the song two dozen times by now.
Ace’s story is not unique. Even though this Blog is just an infant in my eyes, I have already been getting flooded by emails and comments from people expressing their gratitude for helping them along their path. The more I focus on this path of giving value free of charge without expecting anything in return, the more it seems like I get showered in gifts and gratitude worth infinitely more than money.
Recently I’ve been “experimenting” with Law of Attraction, Intention Manifestation and lottery tickets. Just as a little side experiment to test some theories I have about money. I was at 7/11 yesterday and while picking up some snacks I asked the clerk for a scratch and win. I was leaving and just before I got in the car I was asked by a guy sitting on the ground for some change. He was a younger guy, looked fairly able bodied and my intuitive “reading” was that he was probably there begging for money due to some form of substance abuse problem.
I said “Sorry dude, I don’t have any change.” which was the truth (I hardly ever carry any cash anymore), and I got in the car. Instantly after I said it, I could almost hear his mind thinking “F#*&ing asshole…you just came out of 7/11 with some snacks, BS you don’t have any money.” which is probably what he thinks every time he asks someone for change and they don’t give him any. Anyways, I got in the car and I saw him sitting there on the sidewalk and he had this look on his face like he’s given up on humanity. It was weird because it felt like that was one of his underlying problems in life, believing that nobody really cares about him.
I grabbed the scratch and win out of the bag and I set a quick intention “If I win, I’ll give it to this guy.” and I scratched the ticket. I won $6. I got out of the car, walked up to the guy and I said “Here.” He looked at me and said “Seriously? SERIOUSLY!?” and I said “Yeah, take it… It’s $6.” He took it and looked at it and once again repeated “Seriously? Dude, Seriously?” and then he sat there with this giant grin on his face, and I could tell that it had very little to do with the fact that it was $6 he held in his hand, but rather that I just totally reversed all the negative assumptions he made about me when I told him I had no change. If nothing else, hopefully a small little part of him will remember that the universe loves him.
Later on in the evening I was driving home with my wife and I got pulled over by a police officer during a road check. He gave me shit for having no front license plate on my car. When I bought my car from my brother, it had no front plate installed because the front bumper was brand new (the car was in an accident), and there were no holes even drilled yet to mount the plate. I meant to get around to installing it, but I never did end up doing it so I’ve been driving around for almost two years with no license plate up front. I’ve been through numerous road blocks and nobody ever said anything. Last night the officer gave me shit because apparently it is illegal not to have a plate here in BC, Canada. In our neighboring province of Alberta, you don’t need a plate up front, but in BC you do. He asked me “It’s a $109 ticket. You got $109?” and I said “No.” (Once again, I wasn’t lying… as I mentioned above, I hardly ever carry cash on me. 
) The officer said “I’ll let you go this time, but get that plate on there.” That was my little reminder that the universe loves me too.
The reason I mention these stories is because I seem to be noticing more and more examples where I focus on helping others and that is reflected back to me in volumes. The challenge is being in this stage of life where you’re in-between levels of awareness, such as being in the place where you work at a “job” in order to be able to support yourself or a business which makes you money to support yourself, versus following your true purpose and passion in life strictly because it feels good and you find it fulfilling.
I don’t mean to imply that you can’t or shouldn’t make money by following your purpose and passion in life, because that would go against everything this Blog stands for, but what I’m talking about is the intention behind what you do. If your intention is primarily money / security / fear driven, even if you’re doing something similar to what your true passion is, the intention is still rooted in fear. You may make money, but you won’t find fulfillment. If your intention instead is to follow your purpose and passion and provide as much value as you possibly can to the most amount of people, it seems that money just flows back automatically anyways.
Of course you do have to get rid of the limiting beliefs that you may have about making money doing what you love and stop self-sabotaging yourself and all the other stuff I teach on this Blog, but in the end there is a totally different level of awareness you have to evolve to where your primary focus isn’t money or fame anymore.
On that path of evolving from one level to the next, you may experience this phase of “The Dark Night of the Soul” where you are in between worlds. The world of “I just want to make money, I don’t care how.” no longer interests you, and no longer provides any satisfaction. Yet, the world of “I just do what I love and I totally trust I will be taken care of…” isn’t fully integrated yet. You’re in between the two worlds, and it can be a scary place.
Personally I feel like I’ve been in that world for a while now, and it’s not something that most people can get through in one day. It’s a transition phase and it can take a while to get from one point to the next. I love writing for this Blog, and even though recently it’s been growing more and more successful and my income has been increasing, it still pales in comparison to what I am able to make in the business/job world. I guess you can say that I’m still a much better “money maker” than an “Inspired Money Maker”. That’s OK though, the tides are shifting and especially in the last few months I’ve seen a major improvement in my “Inspired Money Making” abilities.
Are you experiencing “The Dark Night of the Soul”? Have you lost your desire to just “make money” at any cost, but haven’t fully gotten to the point where abundance flows to you simply by following your purpose and passion in life?
What’s your story? Where are you at in the process?
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| 14 Comments
I love your story about the scratch and win ticket, Paul. I’m going through a dark night phase myself at this point - mine has to do more with cultivating the ability to trust myself more to follow what I love to do.
Hi Paul,
Well, not so much dark night as early morning or twilight perhaps. I love the idea of making my living from my blog and enjoy writing the posts I do and love the (still) occasional emails that really engage with the topic of the post and get more personal. I know that I have been doing valuable stuff when I got those kind of emails.
My problem at the moment is that I’ve plateaued. I think I need to try and get some exchanges of blog posts or more carnival submissions happening.
At the moment I’ve still got other lots of other stuff to do. And I’m also focusing on preparing a membership course I want to do later in the year.
Not so much dark night as hopefully early morning. But I sure wish I could get to the light quicker.
Thanks for being so transparent, Paul. I’m at a similar place, also… like the trapeze artist who wants to grab the next swinging bar, but has to first let go of the one she’s currently holding… You’re right. Being between the two worlds *is* a scary place. And a frustrating one, too!
One thing that keeps me encouraged, though, is knowing that as I wait (actively, not passively) for all the external elements, details, stars, etc. to align, something wonderful is happening on the inside of me… my soul is ripening, maturing, becoming more wise and robust… so that when the night finally passes, I will emerge as Radiant Love.
I firmly believe that’s what’s happening to us now
Erika Harris
http://www.lifeblazing.com
Lovely article Paul. I can relate to being in the transition phase. The moment I made the decision and the doorway opened, I found all kinds of strange things happening. The first was that I was reminded that I can provide value to others. I began to receive emails from people, one from someone who I helped with a dream many years ago which lead me to look back over all the work I have done in the past; dreams interpretated and email conversations. Then I received the most beautiful email from someone who was moved to write to me after watching a video I had made. What this person wrote reminded me that we can sometimes touch others in ways we will never anticipate. When we act from the heart, openly and without expectation of something in return the effect can be so powerful. What this person wrote to me was beautiful and eloquent and it was almost as though something spoke through them, telling me to keep going, that I’m on the path, it’s ok. And all this from a simple video that I thought might be a good idea to make and perhaps would be of some use to someone!
In short, once I had firmly commited to living my passion, the universe found a way to show me I’m ‘valued’. Whilst of course I want to earn a living with what I can do, creating a connection, creating something that moves someone or helps them in some way is infinately more valuable.
@Leah Whitehorse: Yup. Now the challenge is to learn to make a living from it so that you can do it all the time.
@Erika Harris: I know the feeling.
@Evan: If you’ve plateaued, perhaps it’s time to re-examine your current beliefs. You may be missing opportunities to grow because you’ve already made up your mind about certain things which now may not be true anymore.
This is just an example, but lets say that 6 months ago you tried playing with DIGG to see if it can bring traffic to your site and after 2 weeks of research and testing you found it doesn’t work or isn’t worth the hassle. Now your brain auto-filters it out in your lines of thinking when you consider how to build traffic to your site (as an example). By going back and re-thinking everything you already consider as a “given”, you may be able to find ways to take your site to the next level.
Just an idea.
@Anand: I know exactly what you mean. Trusting your true self is our biggest challenge. Especially when the “outside” world makes us worry about things like how to pay the bills, how to find time, how to find energy, etc.
Hi Paul,
Thanks for your response.
You may well be right. The belief I’m thinking of testing soon is article marketing - I did about a dozen articles and that I submitted to one sight and that didn’t seem to do much. But I plan to try doing a few more, more focused on one topic and submitted to more sites. We’ll see how that goes. The other thing is that I haven’t been doing as much because other things have come along.
Thanks for your response.
@ Evan
Article marketing is a great way to get targeted traffic. The mistake a lot of people make at first is that they don’t do enough keyword research prior to writing the article. I always make sure I have targeted long tail keywords for my heading, and throughout. Submit it to as many directories as possible. A great guide that really helped me out with article marketing was a free ecourse Travis wrote over at the bummarketingmethod.com.
@ Paul
“Do what you love, and success will follow…” It is the hardest mindset to master, but once your insecurities and uncertainties are evaluated, profiled,and confronted it is alarming how the force of goodwill and faith with present opportunities in abundance. It’s scary as hell, but the net will not appear until you actually take the leap.
Great post.
Paul I’ve been holding off responding to this because I wanted to search inside myself first. Truth is, I am in between those worlds too. Like you, I have found my passion - although not quite as advanced as you in achieving freedom - I am on my way. My problem, like many other people, is the fear factor. Security. I am very well paid in my job. Rich by comparison to all my friends and family. But this is a quandry - I still want to shift despite being rich. I feel the urge to follow my passion and not the bank balance. So my passion isn’t being rich. But there is my wife, my son, the roof over our heads (a nice big 17th century house roof). It’s not easy to put that at risk. But I am working on it. I am in that same phase!
I really don’t mean to brag - the point being I have a lot to lose….. but totally grasp that I have a lot to gain!
To sum up: if this was easy, it wouldn’t be worth doing.
Hi Simon,
I understand your situation (although I am poor - by Western standards).
It occurred to me to ask you a question: Have you talked to your family? I’m of the small steps way of doing things. There are probably transition strategies available (though I don’t know your situation of course).
@Simon: I know exactly what you’re talking about. My life path has been very similar.
What I suggest is that you find ways to follow your true passion as much as you can. Do your job for the time being, but schedule time and set goals in your “passion project” and treat it like a true business. Keep growing it and keep working on it because what will most likely happen is one day your “secure” job that you’re dearly hanging onto may just evaporate on you.
Then, you’ll either have your “passion project” to dive into and grow into a successful enterprise, or you’ll be in for a lot of financial hardship. Don’t assume that just because you’re making a lot of money it means your job is secure. Also, read my latest post on multiple-sources of income…it might provide you with another viewpoint.
Best of luck man!
Evan thanks for your comment. I have talked to my family and my wife is very supportive but also concerned about keeping our roof above our young son’s head. So she doesn’t help really! I have started to resurrect old business relationships to use my passion in a slightly different way. I am a dedicated lightworker and have started to create leads and referrals for some of my old contacts for nothing hard in return, but it is creating new opportunities for working with them and eventually earning an income which allows me to follow my path. Early days yet, but progress!