Dec 4

How to Stay Positive Around Negative People

Comments: 5 Posted by : Paul Piotrowski

One of the more common questions I hear from people who are just getting their life turned around and moving on a positive path is ‘How do I stay positive around all the negative people in my life?’

In fact, until you begin to take responsibility for your life and set your compass in the positive direction, you probably won’t notice just how negative the people around you really are. For a lot of people, the negativity comes from family members, relatives and friends, and with the holidays approaching, it can be a time that really tests our patience. It’s hard enough to stay positive in your daily routine, but add a few family “get-togethers” into the picture in an already stressful time of the year and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

Here are some tips on how to stay positive around negative people:

(1) Don’t try to convert them. If you’re just getting your life together and moving in a positive direction, you’re probably creating just enough positive energy to make progress in your life. Most likely, you don’t have enough positive energy to help everyone around you as well, and even if you did they most likely don’t want the help at this time. If you hear people complaining, resist the urge to try to “enlighten” them with your new way of thinking during a holiday dinner.

You may be able to handle one or two “negatrons” when they are ready to take responsibility for their life and they want some positive energy from you, but taking on a whole table of “negatrons” who really don’t want to change is an exercise in futility unless you’re really strongly grounded in positive energy.

(2) Realize the source of your positive energy is your spirit or whatever name you use for divinity. As such, the energy is limitless. Visualize a constant flow of energy flowing to you. I prefer to visualize the energy coming to me from the earth, through my feet and into my body. It is limitless energy. A lot of us might read books or meditate and during those times we feel connected to that energy. However, we should realize that that energy is always there, whether we have a positive book in our hands or not. Allow that energy to always flow through you, even when you’re not meditating or reading a positive book.

(3) Put up a shield around yourself. I used to get really annoyed when I had to go into Starbucks with someone. For some reason, it feels like everyone’s ego’s are really out in full force when they’re ordering their special coffees. I don’t drink Starbucks, but I do go into one on occasion when I’m with someone who does. I used to get really annoyed going into them, until a coach of mine told me about the shield technique. Basically all you do is you imagine an invisible shield surrounding your body which blocks out negative energy and also keeps your positive energy inside it.
So what you do is before going into a place like that you consciously make the decision to keep your positive energy to yourself within your shield and you decide not to allow negative energy to come inside of your shield either. I personally just think in my head “shields up” and in my mind I have an image of a protective field around me.

I’ve tried this out, and the first time I went into a Starbucks with my “shield up”, I felt invisible. Meaning, the people didn’t really bug me, and I didn’t seem to bug the people either. Whereas other times I’d get these looks like people were thinking “What are YOU so happy about?” I really believe people can sense positive energy unconsciously and if they are in a negative mood, it bugs them and they try to pull it away from you. Try out the shield technique to see if it works for you. I know it sounds silly, but it works!

(4) Pretend it’s a costume party. Let’s say that you’re at a gathering when someone who is really negative is talking to you and complaining about the weather, the latest news, and life in general. Instead of judging the person as someone who is negative, try this instead. Pretend that you’re actually at a costume party. The person in front of you has come to the party dressed as a negative person, so they’re wearing their “negatron” mask and talking to you from behind that mask. Now, instead of taking everything they say personally, realize that they are just pretending to go along with their costume.

Realize that one day, that exact same person might change costumes and wear their “positive person” costume, but for today they are still wearing the “negatron” costume and there is nothing you can do about it. Why would you anyways? It’s just a costume party!

(5) Have some fun by mirroring and exaggerating. This can be a fun one under the right circumstances. Let’s say that the person you’re with is complaining about how the government is doing nothing about youth violence. Instead of telling them about how the latest stats show that youth violence is down by 8% in the last 4 years, tell them “Yeah, I think it’s all the video games kids play nowadays! I was playing Mario Brothers the other day and I got so frustrated, I threw the controller across the room.”

If they’re complaining about the soaring gasoline prices, tell them “Yeah, I know, I was saving up for a Hummer, but with today’s gas prices I think I’ll just get a BMX and ride it to work.” Just pretend to be really negative but exaggerate it to the point of humour.

Remember, there is a time for personal development and there is a time for mostly meaningless socializing. If you try to make every social gathering about trying to share personal development issues with people who are not there for that, you’ll run into problems. Instead, if someone is genuinely interested in the success you’ve been having lately or the positive attitude you’re displaying, arrange a time to catch up with them one-on-one later on. Don’t try to convert all the “negatrons” to your new way of being positive. Chances are it won’t work, and you’ll just get frustrated.

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  1. Michelle MacPhearsonNo Gravatar said on May 5th, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    #5 is a great tip - much enjoyed!

  2. SelNo Gravatar
    SelNo Gravatar said on May 14th, 2008 at 5:37 am

    Hehe i love this article! Its so funny and original!!

  3. Paul PiotrowskiNo Gravatar said on May 14th, 2008 at 10:21 am

    @Sel: Thanks!

  4. jsinkeywestNo Gravatar said on May 20th, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Cool blog I had to stumble you a few times sorry:)
    wanna add this to my links
    This comment set up is tight and your design is awesome See you around Thanks
    Peace
    nice Alexa to :)

  5. jsinkeywestNo Gravatar said on May 20th, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    I really like your writing and I see a awesome PR coming your way
    Look me up

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